C*ckpuncher (c) The Onion Movie
The Onion Movie (c) David Zucker
The Onion Movie (c) David Zucker
Hottie 5: Fifty Shades of Epic, Ch. 31
Solus (from Spider-Verse) has become Serpenta's new Miniboss, thus making Earth-001 a part of Serpenta's empire of 1,000,000,000+ universes.
The next vessel of an Infinity Gem power, namely the Mind Gem, has been located in Earth Dimension EBMC25 (AKA the "Elf: Buddy's Musical Christmas" universe). The Big Hero 6 Unlimited then head over to that universe before the Axis of Evil does. Dr. Linksano uses a tracking device to locate the Time Gem power's energy readings. That energy reading was tracked dow to none other than Jovie. Jovie is kidnapped by the Weasels/Toon Patrol, who also have Infinity energy tracking devices and have had their van altered with interdimensional travel technology. After one epic battle against the Axis of Evil, our heroes have rescued Jovie, but the victory is bittersweet as the Time Gem energy has been sucked out of her. That's two Infinity powers down, three to go. To be continued...
Hottie 5: Fifty Shades of Epic, Ch. 30
Dexter has invited his hie new girlfriend, Lisa, (who was de-aged into the same age as Dexter in Hottie 3: The Best Fan Fic in the World) to his Laboratory. While there, Dexter has hung some mistletoe in a certain spot inside his lad, which by coincidence, both Dexter and Lisa are under. The two then share a kiss. To be continued...
Hiro Hamada and Baymax go up against Thymilph, AKA the Beastman who killed Kamina, who has been rebuilt into a cyborg. Thymilph also has a brand new Byakou to pilot as well. Luckily Hiro has built a giant robot for himself as well in order to combat Thymilph's Gunmen, the "Gunmen-buster". The Gunmen-buster robot resembles Baymax but with Triangle Shades, is golden and has a circular light on it's chest like Iron Man. Also, it is co-piloted by both Hiro and Baymax. Also, the Gunmen-buster is made of a gold-titanium carbide-Vibranium alloy, making it indestructible. Also, the Gunmen-buster is powered by Getter Rays. Thymilph tries a sneak att
Hottie 5: Fifty Shades of Epic, Ch. 29
At a comic book convention in LA, Stan Lee is sitting in a room filled with cosplaying kids, reading from a manuscript.
"When we last left (insert name of the department) Alex DeLarge, that no good hooligan, had kidnapped mermaid princess Kai." A little girl dressed as Mio Akiyama, raised her hand.
"Yes." Stan Lee nodded. "What is it."
"Is it just me, or does Princess Kai sound like a girl version of Pi from the 90's Sabrina cartoon?" The little girl deadpanned.
"That's purely coincidental...anyway...let's get back to the story..."
"Don't struggle now, Darling." Alex smirked, as the tiny girl thrashed around in the cage trap. "You'll be fine as long as those heroes co-operate with me."
"Let me go, Man!" Princess Kai screamed.
"All in good time. For now, we wait."
As soon as the Big Hero 6 Unlimited arrived at Salvatore's palace in their submarine, they were greeted by a chaotic sight. Merman guards, brandishing spears were swarming out of the castle.
"Is it always like this?" Lil' Slug
Hottie 5: Fifty Shades of Epic, Ch. 28
"You look lovely, Princess."
"Yes indeed." The two mer-ladies in waiting cooed over their little Princess. The latter however was not amused.
Kai stared, dumbfounded at her reflection in the coral bordered mirror of her chamber. She had never been more thankful for her thick bangs that were at this moment, obscuring the look of shock and bewilderment in her eyes. She couldn't believe what she was wearing. The tiered ceremonial skirt with the huge bow in front and the wreath of flowers in her hair were absolutely NOT her. But...as manners were her forte, she graciously smied and nodded her head.
"Uh...thanks ladies...um...that is all." The giggling ladies in waiting left the chamber in glee, leaving the young, mermaid alone to bemoan her over-done appearance.
"Sheesh...what was I thinking, taking part in the song ceremony...I look like a bloody cupcake.... I've gotta get outta here quick. If anyone sees me, my reputation will be ruined. Quickly, the young mermaid shed the heavy skirt an
Hottie 5: Fifty Shades of Epic, Ch. 27
All was still at the Axis of Evil. No questionable character was prowling the halls tonight for they were all asleep in their beds, dreaming, no doubt, of the day they toppled the Big Hero 6 Unlimited, one, however, was not. Alex lay in the darkness of his empty room, staring at the ceiling. His hands behind his head. He couldn't for the life of him, get to sleep. He couldn't stop thinking...of Malissa. Truth be told, he had been a little bit excited when she had strayed to the path of naughty deeds. He thought it would be like having her as one of his droogs, just different...someone he could truely love...someone like him...But...
He sat up in bed and took out his wallet. Inside, gazing at him, was a photograph. A photograph that his Frozen Heart would have very much preferred he not keep. A photo of the old Malissa, with her platinum blonde hair streaked with blue and her innocently determined eyes. The Malissa he had fallen in love with for her stubbornness, quirkiness and guts. He
Hottie 5: Fifty Shades of Epic, Ch. 26
It turns out that when the Infinity Gems, minus the Time Gem, were destroyed, their power spread across the Omniverse to find new vessels, living vessels, to house their powers. It it also revealed that Serpenta wants to find these living vessels so that she can suck the power out of them and create new Infinity Gems. One of the bearers of one of the Infinity Gem's powers, namely the Space Gem, happens to be Anna from Care Bears Nutcracker Suite. Serpenta orders Alex DeLarge and his Droogs to kidnap Anna, which they do. The Big Hero 6 Unlimited, with the help of the Prince of Toyland, formerly the Nutcracker, and all of Toyland (but not the Care Bears, I the author draw the line on Care Bears) go and rescue Anna at the Mothership commanded by General Bot. While Anna was saved, her Space Gem power was extracted from her. To be continued...
Hottie 5: Fifty Shades of Epic, Ch. 25
Morton Schmidt and Greg Jenko (from 21 Jump Street the movie) have recently joined the Department of Hotness. On an unrelated not, since Frost and Alex DeLarge joined the Axis of Evil, Vanellope von Schweetz has become the new leader of Team Frost. Meanwhile, it's been 35 years since the events of Rankin Bass' Jack Frost, and after that time Jack Frost himself pines for Elisa. Meanwhile, after a battle between the Big Hero 6 Unlimited and the Axis of Evil in Jack Frost's universe, Mabel Pines confronts a sad and lonely Jack and decides to play matchmaker once again. Of course, something happens that set's off a chain of events that has both Mabel and Jack Frost captured by this universe's version of The Snow Queen. "Hey, she reminds me of Elsa" said Mabel talking about the Snow Queen. The Snow Queen at first is disgusted by Jack but eventually warms up to him. Later on the Big Hero 6 breaks into the Snow Queen's ice palace and saves Mabel, Jack Frost however chooses to stay. To be cont
Hottie 5: Fifty Shades of Epic, Ch. 24
Last night while sleeping, I (me/the author) have once again drifted into the dream world. While there I meet none other than my heroes, the Big Hero 6, themselves. I realized they needed more new expanded members, despite having hundreds of members, so I used my mind to materialize the cast of Mike Tyson Mysteries so that they could join the Big Hero 6 Unlimited.
Mike Tyson, Yung Hee Tyson, the Marquess of Queensberry and Pigeon (from Mike Tyson Mysteries) have recently joined the Big Hero 6 Unlimited. Meanwhile, Our heroes are fighting the Axis of Evil in Gatlinburg, TN in Earth Sub-prime. And since it's the Christmas season, they battle their epic battle just in time for Christmas at the Smokies. Hiro Hamada once again uses all seven Chaos Emeralds to transform into "Super Hiro", he then uses the Rainbow Cubit to fuse with Goku, who has transformed into a Super Saiyan God, thus forming "GoHiro". With Super Hiro's Chaos power and Goku's Super Saiyan God power, GoH
Hottie 5: Fifty Shades of Epic, Ch. 23
After joining the Axis of Evil, Alex DeLarge has created a brand new new Droog gang. Other than, his girlfrend, Malissa AKA Frozen Heart, new Droogs include Scratch, Grounder & Coconuts from Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. Meanwhile, today was Black Friday, while everyone was shopping, the Big Hero 6 Unlimited were fighting the Axis of Evil in Pideon Forge, TN in Earth Sub-prime. Hiro Hamada uses all seven Chaos Emeralds to transform into "Super Hiro", he then uses his power to give Super Shields to Baymax, GoGo Tomago, Honey Lemon, Wasabi, that was the day they became the "Super Big Hero 6". The Super Big Hero 6 then fly around and beat up as many Axis of Evil members as possible. To be continued...